


The List

by colourscat



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, M/M, fallen!cas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-18
Updated: 2014-05-18
Packaged: 2018-01-25 16:16:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1654709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/colourscat/pseuds/colourscat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam was abruptly awoken by screaming and yelling one nice afternoon. He quickly recognized the voices as Dean’s and Castiel’s. He tried to ignore it and continue with his deserved nap, the angry arguing continued and with a sigh Sam got up from the comfy bed and went to see what the hell was going on.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The List

**Author's Note:**

> This was me trying to see if I could write smut :p so enjoy!

Sam was abruptly awoken by screaming and yelling one nice afternoon. He quickly recognized the voices as Dean’s and Castiel’s. He tried to ignore it and continue with his deserved nap, the angry arguing continued and with a sigh Sam got up from the comfy bed and went to see what the hell was going on. 

“No Cas you’re not coming!”

“Why the hell not Dean!” Ok Cas was cursing this was bad, Cas never-EVER- cursed unless he was really mad. 

“Because I fucking say so” 

“Yeah well you can’t tell me what I do or don’t do.” The angel said crossing his arms in a child-like manor.

“Watch me you son of a bitch!”

“I’m going and you can’t do anything about it!” 

“You are not going! and that’s that I am done having this conversation.” Dean said with a stern voice, Castiel proceed to storm out of the room stumping his feet like an angry toddler.

Dean sighed and went to the fridge to grab a beer before he noticed his brother standing on the door frame. “I suppose the hunt didn’t go that well, huh?” Sam said with one of his infamous bitch faces. “Tell me about it, he just doesn’t understand that he’s human now. That he can get hurt” Dean said taking a swing from the bottle. Dean and Cas never argued this much and this angrily, and it was bogging Sam the look of sadness in his older brother’s eyes.

“Wanna talk about it?” Sam asked with concerned written all over his face.  
Did he? Did he really want to talk about it? He finally shrugged, what harm could it do? This was all the confirmation Sam needed so he started

“Ok then, are you mad at Cas?” Dean didn’t know what to answer, was he mad at Cas? Was that even possible for Dean? Fuck yes an angry part of him wanted to say but he wasn’t really, he was far more worried. 

“I suppose that I am, yeah” Was all he managed to say, he was too confused about everything that happened in that hunt. 

“Why? What did he do?” Now this Dean could answer easily, the shit that son of a bitch manages to do is amazing.

“We were hunting some witches and Cas decided to just go all angel of the lord and gank them at the middle of the night without me and completely on his own but they were too strong and hurt Cas a lot, at the end we killed them but Cas was hurt really badly. Do you know what the worst part was? He didn’t fucking care.  
He said it was his duty and that I was in danger and they could have hurt me. Do you realize how ridiculous he is? He gets hurt and just goes on he didn’t regret it, in the road back here I asked him if he regretted it and you know what he said? That he would fucking do it again.  
He gives no shits about himself and that needs to stop!” 

Dean was screaming and all the time Sam had a bitch face on until he realized something and started smiling like a madman. “What are you smiling at bitch?” said Dean when he finished his rant. Dean’s face was red with anger and his hands were shaking.  
“You are exaggerating” 

“I am NOT exaggerating, he just has no self preservation”  
Honestly Dean knew he was exaggerating, but he couldn’t bring himself to care Cas was being reckless and Dean could not bear to see him die again…ever.

The mere thought of Castiel pale, still, eyes closed and cold made him want to puke or punch a wall, ever since purgatory Dean found himself caring more and more about the angel each day, it scared him. And now that he’s human…well the feelings just grow. He had never experienced anything like it, ever, not even Lisa or Cassie. But Dean knew his felling would never be returned so he just needed to bury his feeling in the “I can’t, won’t and don’t want to deal with this shit” folder. 

But truth be told it was harder each day. Sometimes Cas would smile his stupid half-smile or tilt his head like a puppy when he didn’t understand one of Dean’s references and he would just feel something warm flutter in his stomach or out of nowhere he would think of Castiel and just sit there with a goofy grin on his face. It was completely ridiculous. 

Dean was so lost in thought that he didn’t hear his brother calling him, nor the door of the bunker’s kitchen opening.

…  
Castiel decided to go talk to Sam about this problem, he couldn’t understand why he couldn’t go hunting anymore and he couldn’t understand what he did wrong. With a frustrated sigh he entered he kitchen just to find Dean staring into space with a blank expression and Sam calling his name trying to get his attention.

Castiel suddenly felt angry, what had he done? Absolutely nothing and now Dean was mad at him it was completely absurd. He was just trying to save Dean and now he was being punished. “Hey Cas” Sam said easily, he just nodded in response and looked at Dean. Dean finally seemed to get off his trance and turned to stare at Castiel. 

 

It was too much for him so he just exited the kitchen, he was hurt about all the things Dean said to him and he wanted to hunt again. He didn’t want to be a burden he wanted to be useful. And honestly he was scared, he was scared that if he didn’t help them or didn’t hunt they will leave him, they will leave him on his own to deal with all this humanity bullshit. 

Tears started to form in his eyes and before he noticed he was crying, they probably were going to leave him they were just talking about how or when. He ran towards “his” room, closed the door, sat on the bed and started crying. He was more trouble than help he knew that but still he had a little speck of hope in his chest that they would let him stay. 

He grabbed a notebook and pencil and started making a list named “Things I Could Help With (now that I’m not an angel)”.

He thought for a while and decided to write cleaning. He could clean the kitchen and the rooms and the bathroom and whatever they wanted him to clean.  
He then wrote knowledge angel or not he knew lots of things that could be useful for the Winchesters in hunts. Then he wrote company but he realized how stupid that was so he scribbled it. Why would they want to be his friends since he was now just a whiny useless human.

He wanted to think about more things to write but couldn’t, he really was useless. And then he started crying again, he really deserved to leave he didn’t deserved the friendship or company of the Winchesters he was just a useless burden. 

Suddenly, the door opened he quickly closed the book and rubbed his eyes with his sleeve. He realized that the intruder was Dean.

“Cas, are you crying?” Dean asked voice low. 

This is all your fault, Dean thought as guilt and sadness took over him. He felt horrible, he had made Cas cry, the last thing he wanted to do. He just wanted to go there and hug the angel until he fell asleep and tell him reassuring thing to the ear, but he had to control himself. 

Castiel shook his head and sniffed, that was it Dean couldn’t take it. Cas looked so small and fragile he had to do something to make him feel better. Without thinking he sat next to Castiel on the bed and wrapped an arm around him. “Was it my fault?” Dean asked just loud enough so Cas could hear, he shook his head again.

“It was my fault, I realize I’m useless and that I’m just a burden here now that my grace is gone but still…I don’t want to leave.” Now Dean was mad, how can Castiel think does things? Did he really think he was just a tool for the Winchesters? Dean’s brain was to in shock to comprehend what was happening. 

Then Castiel proceed to grab a notebook and open it in a page with a list. There Dean could read “Things I Could Help With (now that I’m not an angel)”.  
“I made a list of reasons of why I should stay and things I can help you with, I hope this changes your mind about leaving me. I realize I’m selfish but I really don’t want to be alone so yeah…I wrote cleaning because I know you guys don’t like cleaning and I could do it while you hunt and stuff. I also wrote knowledge because even though I’m not an angel anymore I still know lots of things that could help you in hunts and I couldn’t think of more…” 

Dean couldn’t comprehend what was happening Cas really thought they were making him go, he even made a list. In all honesty it was completely endearing but he shouldn’t think like that, they were family he wasn’t just a useful tool they found. The he realized there was something scribbled at the bottom of the page and asked about it. 

Castiel just blushed “It’s nothing just something dumb that I thought I could do, but it wouldn’t be useful and I doubt you would want it.” Castiel mumbled looking ashamed. 

“Please tell me I want to know” Dean said softly to Castiel he realized he was still holding him, but couldn’t let go.  
“I…I wrote company. I know it’s stupid and dumb and that why would you even want my company and and I realize it know that’s why I didn’t include it.” 

Dean smiled softly and tilted Castiel’s head and made him look at Dean’s eyes. “Listen to me Cas, and listen to me very carefully” he started with a stern voice, he could see the panic in the angel’s eyes “you’re family, you’re not a burden, I love having you here. Hell it’s like Christmas now that I get to see you every single day and the only thing I want from that stupid list is your company. We are not letting you go or making you leave because you’re family, understood?” He released Castiel head and the angel wrapped his arms around Dean and buried his head in the hunter’s neck. “Thank you Dean, thank you” he whispered into Dean’s neck. 

Dean knew Cas was crying but did not care because fuck it he was crying too. Castiel then kissed the hunter’s neck and fuck didn’t Dean like it. He could feel a warm thing spreading through his whole body. Then they broke apart and without thinking he grabbed the angel’s jacket and kissed him. At fist Castiel stood still, but then he realized what was actually happening and kissed back.

Castiel opened his mouth a little and Dean took the opportunity to stick his tongue in Castiel’s mouth it was warm and wet. After a few minutes they broke apart to catch their breathes and the sight was mesmerizing. Dean saw Castiel wild-eyed with hair messier than usual and swollen lips. “Did I do it ok?” he asked tilting his head. “Fucking wonderful” Was Dean’s answer before they kissed again. The kiss soon turned into a make-out sesion, and before he knew it, Cas was rock hard. Apparently Dean noticed and started to palm Dean through his jeans, which made Dean moan in pleasure. “Please Dean, don’t tease” Dean nodded and started to undo Castiel’s pants, way to slowly for his taste. After almost an eternity Cas was comando, almost.  
“Take you shirt off” Cas said in a husky voice that, god help him, was sexy as fuck. Dean took his shirt off and threw it carelessly. 

Dean made him lay down and looked at him like a price to be won. Castiel licked his lips. “Take me baby ‘cause I’m all yours.” that was all it took for Dean to start kissing and licking. He started from his ear, down to his jaw line and neck where he sucked a small hickey, then he continued downwards and stopped when he reached the angel’s left nipple. He then smirked lightly and started sucking, Cas was moaning like a whore but he didn’t care (he really had sensible nipples). 

Dean suddenly stopped and Cas looked at him eyes filled with questions. “Why did you stop?” Cas said in a needy desperate tone, with a whine. Dean smirked and whispered into the former angel’s ear. “I’m gonna make you feel so good, you won’t even think about leaving me ever again.” Castiel was moaning desperately, then Dean took pitty on him and started sucking him off. Cas was turned into a moaning mess from all the pleasure. “God Dean, yes just like that, fuck” 

Dean couldn’t help but moan at the sound of his name, he realized just how much the loved the angel’s whimpers and moans. “Dean I think I’m gonna oh-“ Cas’ orgasm hit him like a bus, suddenly he was overwhealmed by all the pleasure he was feeling and Dean, well, for Dean watching Cas come was the most erotic thing he had the pleasure to see, and it was all it took for him to come undone too. 

After the shock of the orgasm had worn off Dean and Cas cuddled in comfortable silence just 3 words echoing in the room. “I love you.”


End file.
